


What We Already Knew

by Milosflaca



Category: Free!, Iwatobi Swim Club - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Gen, Hints Tachibana Makoto/Matsuoka Gou, M/M, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 16:56:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1109274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milosflaca/pseuds/Milosflaca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Relationships are sometimes not so secret...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Makoto

**Author's Note:**

> I started planning this just after Free! ended. I wasn’t really sure the series would continue next summer. In any case all who read this, please strike out the last 5 minutes of the series -when they recap what happened AFTER the sun goes down in the stadium, when they are all bffs forever :P -  
> A huge big thanks to Luxshine who beta read this and thanks Raul for your helpful advice :) 
> 
> Warning:  
> This fic contains NSFW content: sexually explicit -not kidding- and harsh language. Be warned.

Haruka slipped on the edge of the pool

 

Makoto wouldn’t worry so much if it hadn’t been because Gou had noticed as well. Her expression was a mixture of awe and worry, intertwined in a slight frown. He knew she didn’t worry about just anyone, especially with Haru who was basically a fish exiled from the water.  But her eyes were glued to Haru’s every movement while he tried to command his feet to keep it together to no avail, saving face in the last second thanks to a nearby windowsill that kept him from falling on his butt.  

 

Everyone can have a bad day at training, but it seemed that for the past few weeks his friend had been having a long share of bad days.  Just yesterday Haru had missed class, yelled at Rei in the middle of practice and burned his meal. He had even a hard time concentrating on training, which was needless to say extremely weird, sometimes over exercising to get things right in one go. The rest of the team thought Haru was pushing himself hard to go to the upcoming nationals and this the result of heavy focusing, but Makoto knew best. There was something wrong and seeing Gou’s fingertips clenched so viciously around the training sheets on account’s on his friend’s behavior wasn’t helping much to think differently. If Gou was concerned, something must have gone _really, really very wrong._

 

“Is something bothering you, Kou?” He asked cautiously with a smile set on his face, while he put one hand gently upon Gou’s clenched fingers to make her stop. 

 

She turned to face him with her cheeks somewhat flushed as if she had been caught red handed, immediately gesturing a adamant ‘no’ and turning her attention to the training schedule.  Makoto didn’t press for an answer though, although he didn’t believe her. He knew that look. Countless times he had caught that expression peeking out of her determined demeanor when she looked at Haru, especially when she thought no one was looking. He knew Gou volunteered to be the manager of the club in an attempt to understand his older brother better, after he had returned so changed from Australia.  Haru had become then the sole outlet of a river that became violent on its end and where Gou could stare at Rin’s soul. But nowadays those peaceful waters had turned violent all of the sudden, and now he couldn’t help but to wonder as well what was going on at its source. After all Gou _was_ staring at Haru, and this time it wasn’t  with admiration or wonderment set on her face. It was with plain worry and _that_ , set Makoto dangerously on edge.

 

_What has Rin gotten into his head now?_

 

After the relay competition at regionals, Rin had almost disappeared from their lives and even when joint practice occurred he was never there to be seen and whenever they asked for his whereabouts they would always get the same answer: ´school has been hectic’ ‘he’s down with something’. Makoto never gave Rin’s absence a second though especially because his friend was known to like having some space for himself. However now he wondered if this had anything to do with the last time Rin and Haru had met in the locker room at the last swim meet, rather than his personal preferences. His first impulse was to ask Gou, but he knew this wouldn’t do.  She wouldn’t say anything, if there’s was anything to say at all.  She had always kept Rin’s business private and even when she had brought back secret details from the rival clubs, including those of Samezuka’s training ways, she had never said anything pertaining her brother other than what he would be scheduled to swim on the event of the day.  Perhaps this was what he liked best about her: he could fully trust her. 

 

He offered her a sincere smile, making her return the gesture almost immediately which made his chest impossibly warm.

 

“I will be with Miss Amane” Gou informed him with a somewhat cheerful tone, brushing her fingertips on his forearm as she turned around to leave the pool court.  “I’ll text you in the afternoon, o.k?”

 

Makoto nodded, watching her run away to the fence door. As soon as she was out of sight he headed to the locker room where he found Haru sitting on one of the benches looking pretty depressed:  slouching and head down, staring at the floor.  He turned to face him and immediately stood up, stretching his arm to the nearest shelf to grab his things and head home. Makoto didn’t say a thing, because that was the way it worked between them. He simply stared at his friend folding his arms and leaned on the frame door, patiently waiting  for Haru to open up. But Haru never did,  walking instead right in between him and the door, as if he had been invisible, which was pretty hard for a guy who was as tall and broad as himself. 

 

That was the final straw for Makoto though, finally stopping him midway firmly by the forearm, forcing Haru to face him for the very first time in the whole training session.

 

“Haru, I know something is wrong. _What is it?_ ”

 

His tone was desperate, even though it wasn’t his intention. He didn’t want Haru to think his suspicion had come from anyone else because he had witnessed the result of whatever was tormenting him first hand: the yelling, the burnt meals, the bad attitude. Everything.

 

Haru twitched his mouth turning his head sideways as usual. “Nothing is wrong. I’m just having a bad day, that is all.”

 

“Gou is worried as well.” He counteracted immediately not even remotely ready to indulge him.  Any other day he would have given him a little space to overcome whatever he was going through but _Gou was worried as well_. There was a subtext to that affirmation that instantly read ‘ _Rin is involved in this too’._ Maybe his friend would open up now to him. 

 

As expected, Haru turned around to face him, eyes wide open. Silence lingered between then and Haru licked his lips, then turning his attention again to the locker where his things were.

 

“Then tell her I’m having a bad day,” His friend answered calmly, but adamant scooping up his things in his arms. “That is all.”

 

Makoto didn’t push the issue further, letting him go with a heavy sigh. At least he reckoned, Haru had done an effort in his own laconic way to let him know that despite their worry, there was nothing going on on Rin’s side at all But Makoto wasn’t so sure about that. In fact Haru’s attitude had left him nothing  but convinced that _there actually was something very wrong_ between them, because there had never been a time in which that pair didn’t replicated one another’s behavior. If Rin wanted to run to his house, Haru would do the same. If Haru decided that he didn’t like soda that week, Rin would follow suit and in such an effortless way that anyone who would be faced with the situation would declare that it was meant to be.

 

They were two perfect halves brought upon by fate. Two powerful magnets attracted to one another despite themselves. Up until today Makoto couldn’t pin point where their connection first started. If it was just swimming or the fact that they simply enforced each other on the good and the bad, motivating or suppressing one another over the years. Even over the distance.  It was amazing. He had known Haruka since they were practically babies, but he would never and could never enforce that kind of power over Haru. His friend always did what he wanted, never budging a bit if he didn’t feel like it, only doing it if ever, on behalf of their friendship. With Rin however his will was completely bent and overpowered. To this day Makoto wasn’t able to say if curiosity or a plain childish dare was the primeval force that moved Haru towards Rin and vice versa but whichever the case, having found years later that his friend had given up swimming altogether because of Rin and that Rin had done the same for Haru had reaffirmed the idea on his head.  It was a never ending cycle that he thought would have ended, with the forfeit at regionals where they had at last swam together despite themselves and the world around them.

 

He remembered how happy he had felt for having been part of that precious moment. He’d never seen Haru so happy before, or smiling as widely as he had done when Rin turned around and hugged him when they had won for the second time the relay, especially when minutes before he had looked so lost and desperate when he had found Rin would quit swimming for good. 

 

“Unless this has never been about swimming…” Makoto whispered to himself pursing his lips, his mind going back a couple of months.

 

How could he had forgotten it? The truth had been laying in front of him all along! 

 

It was right after they all ended eating at Sasabe’s house. Rei and Nagisa were flipping the pages of various girl swim suits magazines. It had been rather strange that Haruka had almost given up instantly his copies to him.

 

_I don’t like this Makoto…You can have them if you like._

 

He had thought Haru was not in the mood to play along, but now he understood.  _Haru didn’t like girls_. Now that he thought of it, his friend had looked quite disgusted. But now he understood, it went beyond a matter of being prudish. He now could see the clear differences between Nagisa and Rei who unlike Haruka, blushed and almost drooled all the pages of the magazines unapologetically.  

 

_That would explain a lot_ , he thought a bit shocked but relieved, while running his fingers through his wet hair. 

 

In fact, that would explain _everything_ : Haru’s obsession with Rin, his impossibility to have him out of sight and ultimately their estrangement. Having solved the issue of the relay, god knew what other emotions were left to discuss, if they were ever laid out at all. Or worse: returned. Makoto was certain if that was the case things would only worsen especially if he took into account that Haru had never been talkative about his feelings, leaving this job to Makoto which he had done diligently over the years. Now however with the plot between Rin and Haru thickening, he knew he wouldn’t be able to provide for the very first time. This broke his heart a little because the only thing  he truly wanted was the happiness of his friend and if took years, solving something as easy as arranging a relay race among them, Makoto wouldn’t want to think how much effort would be needed to bring back those two together in the same room. 

 

Right at that moment his cellphone rang, snapping him out of his thoughts. When he checked the screen his somber demeanor changed to a smile. Gou texted him to let him know where she would meet him to tune up the training schedule. She was so nice and pretty. Any other day the promise of an afternoon with their manager would have lightened up his spirits. However today it made him all the more conscious of what Haru was going through.

 

It was never easy to deal with possible romantic feelings over a Matsuoka sibling.

 

“I’m right there with you Haru.” He said and he stood up going to his locker to get his clothes.

 


	2. Rei

Rei was on his way to the roof.

 

Despite the fact that he hated eating outdoors as all kind of bugs inevitably found their way to his bento, there was an important meeting of the swimming club that he had to attend. However he was already running late on account of the crowded halls. Rei pushed his way towards the exit that lead to the main hall and once there he ran swiftly towards the service door. When he finally reached the stairs leading to the roof, he found Makoto on top with his hand, placed on the door handle. The Captain froze up suddenly, dead on his tracks at the sound of Haruka’s-Senpai voice that was coming out of the small gap in between the partial opened door. 

 

Whatever Haruka-Senpai was saying, was instantly approved by Kou through means of a cheerful laughter seconded by Nagisa who as usual, screamed to the top of his lungs. Makoto grabbed his tie somewhat nervously and turned around heading downstairs again.  

 

“Is something wrong between you and Haruka-Senpai?” Rei asked once he was in front of him.

 

Makoto turned around and looked at him frowning, as if Rei had been nothing but a stranger. Rei straightened his glasses, and arching an eyebrow he stared inquisitively at him. He was onto him and Makoto knew it as seconds later his brain seemed to register the question prompting him to a nervous laughter and into a tic of rubbing his neck. Granted, Rei was not in the same classroom as him, but he had noticed that for the past two days Makoto had been staring at Haruka… from _afar_ , which is to say the least, uncommon for a pair that claimed to be the best of friends.

 

“You haven’t spoken to him in two days, You know?” Rei stated dryly, as a matter of fact while fixing his glasses back on his nose bridge. “Which is needless to say, very rare for best friends.”

 

Makoto froze up at the comment, turning if possible to a deeper shade of red. Rei smiled taking pride in knowing his teammates well. Maybe there was a time when they all could fool him, but not anymore. He had spent what little free time he had left, when he was not studying the complex theory of swimming, analyzing them, dissecting their personalities and  learning their body language in order to anticipate whatever might befall the team. He had learned that with Rin, Hadn’t he? 

 

“It’s really nothing, Rei,” Makoto answered, offering him one of his peaceful smiles while he patted him on his shoulder to appease him further. “Nothing to worry about, really.” 

 

Rei looked down, counting to ten. It was really unbelievable how after all he has gone through with them, Makoto still tried to shut him out of the problems. He knew his friend had a heavy burden to carry, since he was the Captain and he pretty much had to deal with all what’s coming to him, but he was sure that after giving up his rightful earned place in the relay, they would know that they could trust him no matter the situation. It seemed that he always had to spell out the problems for them, untying any imaginary knots the idiots had set themselves into, just as he had done with Rin four months ago at regionals. 

 

But Makoto simply patted him on the shoulder and turned around to leave.

 

“It’s hard for Haruka-Senpai, you know?”  Rei blurted out making his friend stop dead on his tracks again.

 

Makoto looked at him with a quizzical look on his face. Rei was not sure whether his friend was playing the fool or he _really_ didn’t know what he’s talking about. Whatever the case, it was way past time since Haruka-Senpai’s issues were addressed and Makoto should know better what happened when any situation pertaining Haruka-Senpai was left unattended.  

 

“Haruka Sempai is gay, right?” Still he asked giving Makoto the benefit of the doubt, although he’s pretty sure that his assessment was right,  since his older brother was gay as well and went through the same stages that Haruka was showing of the late, especially when he had found out he was in love with a close friend.

 

Rei wasn’t the kind of guy that would label a close relationship between two people of the same sex instantly as ‘gay’. After all he was pretty close to Nagisa, whom practically was his ‘school wife’ according to everyone around. However things were very different with Rin Matsuoka and Haruka Nanase. You could feel the tension dangling in the air and it wasn’t one of rivalry. It was one of pure sexual tension. Rei was very sure that when he went to speak with Matsuoka previous to the finals, he almost got punched because Rin had thought he was speaking not on behalf of the team or of his own interest as an athlete, but on behalf of his heart, as if he had been in love with Haruka. He remembered clearly how Rin’s pupils flickered for a brief second when Haruka’s name had been dropped into the conversation. Rage and unspoken emotional constipation was something Rin carried in loads and he had tried to disguised it as a ‘mind your business, noisy bitch’ kind of talk but Rei knew that it went beyond a reasonable claim of personal space. Still to this day Rei remembered how Matsuoka paled when he found out that Haruka-Senpai had quitted swimming on his behalf, before high school. It had showed Matsuoka something that he never thought he would  be able to awaken in Nanase. Not that he would blame Rin for his reaction. Even Rei had been surprised when Haruka-Senpai had told him about it, just the night before. Up until now the only interest that Nanase had showed to the world was that his love for swimming surpassed everything. Even social protocol; that was, _except for Rin_. He could give up his most precious possession and his love for it if it was for the sole purpose of pleasing him. If it made Rin’s tears stop.  

 

 Maybe that was the time when Rei started to really figure out what was really going on between these two.  All the team referred to them as the ‘estranged friends’; As the two swimming prodigies that once friends became rivals when they had grown up, but the story had been wrong all along. They were two swimming prodigies  that were put together, yes;  maybe by a childhood friendship,  but whom in the long run would _never_ be just  ‘friends’. They had altogether outgrown the label and being two men with equal forces and overpowering talents, personalities and sharing the same passion, it was only natural that they would share it with one another.

 

It was the only logical path.

 

Makoto however stared at him in jaw-dropping awe, as if he was telling him that Nanase Haruka was in fact an alien out of this world who had come to the planet with the sole purpose of commanding all earthlings to swim to their deaths.

 

“ How do you even…?” Makoto couldn’t even utter the whole question as Rei dragged him out of the room and into the yard sitting on a patch of grass far away of prying ears.

 

It took almost half an hour for Makoto to calm down and meanwhile he blabbered and ranted out all of his doubts and fears about the whole situation, going from his impossibility of his being Haruka’s feelings translator, to how the situation would affect the team as a whole and Rei wholeheartedly agreed on this last topic. The effects of it had already impacted the team during practice showing a less concentrated Haruka-Senpai when he was needed to be on the top of his game.  Nobody could predict what the outcome of the situation would be, not even Rei. He was not entirely positive if Rin was gay or if he returned the Senpai’s feelings otherwise, but whatever the case what was clear for him was that something was needed to be done, and right away.

 

“In any case…” Makoto added, frantically, speaking awfully quickly. “I feel so very guilty for not finding out sooner you know? I feel like I should have said something earlier. Maybe he’s just acting up because he doesn’t know how to deal and I’ve been trying desperately to find the right time to tell him that I… that we support him no matter what and…”

 

Makoto sighed exhausted and Rei offered him a smile.. 

 

“I know what you mean,” He said pressing his glasses against the bridge of his nose. “My older brother is gay and right when he found out he was in love with someone he went through a very complicated phase, acting just as Haruka-Senpai is doing now. He would be absent minded, and rude and snap at everyone out of the smallest little things…And I could never find a proper way to let him know I knew and that he was not alone in this.” 

 

“Is that how you knew? I mean, because he started to act up?” Makoto asked. Rei instantly shook his head.

 

“No, actually I sort of figured it out when I went to talk to Rin the first time, before regionals. I know that you guys have always looked at Haruka-Senpai and Rin as friends, but they can’t be friends. The relationship is just _way_ too intense for that.”

 

Rei made a pause folding his arms, while staring to the distance. “It goes beyond rivalry and swimming as a whole. I think Haruka-Senpai is the only one who _gets_ Rin and vice versa. They complement one another to an extent that simply escapes us all. After all, Haruka-Senpai gave up swimming because of Rin, Right? Just to never see him sad again,  and I don’t think he would do it, not even for _you_ , Am I right?”

 

Makoto nodded absently and Rei noticed how his eyes stared at the distance as if his mind was going through every single detail of his life alongside Haruka-Senpai and Rin, as if trying to recollect and dissect in one go all the data available that would support all what Rei had been explaining to him. Makoto’s face went from a blank expression to a wide smile, acknowledging perhaps that inherent connection with Rin that he had totally overlooked all this years. He sighed afterwards but Rei could reckon it wasn’t a sign of resignation but more an acknowledgement of the inevitable conclusion of love -at least as Haruka was concerned-. 

 

“I think the problem lies in Haruka-Senpai’s inability to communicate openly.” Rei added matter of factly, while pulling out a bunch of books out of his backpack. “I noticed that he and Rin hadn’t talk much lately and I bet that after regionals neither of them couldn’t address the feelings for one another… Well that is if Rin is actually gay or at least bisexual, which I think he most certainly is.”

 

Makoto turned around, frowning and evidently startled. It looked as if Rei was going too fast for him, and perhaps he was, but the situation needed some damage control and above all, laying things out in the open.

 

“If you want I can go and talk to Rin again, and ask what his true feelings are for Haruka-Senpai. That way we can straighten things out from the core and then you can go to Haruka-Senpai and tell him we all support….”

 

“Wait, What? NO!” Makoto exclaimed in a high pitch voice, making everyone around, turn around to see them. “And anyway, how are you so sure Rin is bisexual or whatever?”

 

Rei turned to face Makoto, a bit annoyed at his question. It was no secret that Rin Matsuoka was a ladies man who would even flirt with a stick if it had a skirt on. They would often have to wait on him when joint practice occurred as he would be attending to a line of women gawking at him from afar.  True, that could also be overcompensation bur regardless of his true sexual preferences, his natural attraction to Haruka-Senpai could not be denied. Not even by Rin himself and Rei was very sure this conflicted Matsuoka and perhaps was the source of the cold shoulder that he was now giving to his friend.

 

“Well, if you don’t want me meddling, you can go yourself and ask him,” Rei continued, fetching out more books. “You know better than anyone out there that Haruka Sempai will not talk for himself, and in that regard how can you be sure that he won’t hold his peace only because he thinks he doesn’t have a chance with Rin?”

 

“The problem Rei is that we are assuming that Haru is in love with Rin. We don’t know that for sure, only that he’s gay.”  

 

Rei nodded with a smug smile set on his face. “Precisely. _But Rin doesn’t know that_.”

 

Makoto’s eyes widened. Now he began to understand.

 

“As far as he is concerned Haruka-Senpai is straight with a conspicuous and unhealthy attraction to water. Maybe if he knew Haruka-Senpai’s preferences he would at least have an option to pursue. If in the end he doesn’t feel anything for Haruka-Senpai other than friendship I’m sure he would talk to him and straight things out. But if on the other hand he _does_ feel something for him, knowing that he’s gay could turn the tables. Like G.I Joe says: ‘ _knowing is half the battle_ ’”

 

Makoto started laughing openly at the reference but shut up instantly when he realized what Rei had put in front of him. 

 

“` _Changing your game: A Man’s guide to Success with women_ ’…. “ He instantly reddened again. “What is this? Am I suppose to give this to Rin?” 

 

Makoto tried to feign discretion to what it as most obvious while  turning around the book several times on his hand.

 

“Oh not at all,” Rei answered with a serious tone disregarding modesty completely. “I took the liberty of picking up some books for you since it seems you’ve been having problems with Kou-chan of the late. There is one in particular here that I think you should read above all, considering your usual habits with Rin’s sister.”

 

Rei picked up one of the books at the bottom of the pile with the title of _`Power Texting Men! The Best Texting Attraction Book to Get the Ladies.’_

 

Makoto stood up, red from head to toe. It was almost comical how a tall and big guy such as Tachibana could willingly pump out so much blood to be as red as a cherry, but somehow he managed and Rei made an effort not to laugh openly. He knew how hard it was to court a lady properly and he knew that his friend, despite the closeness of his goal, didn’t have an easy task ahead of him. Not even if Kou was not indifferent to his advances. However, before Rei could say anything else on the matter, Makoto snatched the books off of him forcefully walking away silently as the bell rang to announce the recess was over. 

 

When he lifted his head one last time towards the roof, he saw Haruka-Senpai on the distance, leaning on the railway, his sight lost in the distance towards where he knew the Samezuka Academy was.


	3. Rin

Rin bumped his head against the refrigerator shelf. The cans and all the glass jars above jumped a little when his head collided on its edge.

 

“God Fucking damn it!” He screamed to the top of his lungs, while he grabbed the shelf with one hand so that he could get his head off safely.

 

He could feel Makoto’s eyes on him, expectant.

 

“Did you hear what I just said Rin?” His friend asked again.

 

Rin clenched his teeth, turning his head the opposite way, making an effort to recollect himself. Finding Makoto in his house with his sister, had been a shock.  Sure, he had reasons to be there:  he was the freaking captain of the Iwatobi Swim club. It didn’t matter if he was _also_ doing a good damned job in getting into his sister’s pants, they had matters to discuss and with the upcoming swim meet, they sure had plenty of things to blabber about. However now that he thought of it he’d preferred having Makoto plainly gawking at his sister any day of the week. It was better than having him meddling in his business.

 

“Haru is ga…”

 

“I heard you the first time, Makoto!” He answered sharply trying to keep a poker face. “Haru is gay, So fucking what?”

 

He knew that he was letting Makoto in on more that he actually wanted to reveal, with his tone.  After all, his friend could have been giving him just a ‘heads up’. Nothing to worry about.  But Makoto had traveled all the way to his house to tell him the news -which was no small feat considering they lived on opposite sides of town- which made him suspicious all of the sudden.  It was freaking unbelievable that of all people Makoto Tachibana had failed to read in between the lines. That’s why he had put some distance between them and him. That was why he had missed jointed practice, why he had disappeared from their lives for a while: because above all, he didn’t want to be mixed with them, especially with Nanase Haruka. 

 

_Stupid Tachibana._

 

“I thought you should know,” Makoto answered a bit shocked, obviously noticing completely how affected he was by the news. 

 

Rin cursed under his breath, while Makoto kept his arms very stiff on each side of his body while he was looking at every single direction except at him. Right after they had entered the kitchen Rin knew there was something wrong with his friend as he was often talkative and would not shut up for the world. Today he acted different and from the minute Makoto greeted him he had looked worried even, his hands tight around the power drink Rin had given him as a refreshment. As if he was uncomfortable or knew in advance what he kind of reaction he would get out of him…

 

“The rest of the team knows,” Makoto added and Rin’s eyes widened in automatic feeling his stomach turn into a knot.

 

“What do they know, Huh?” He snapped, his mouth acting faster than his brain out of nervousness. “You know shit Makoto! You and your freaking stupid little team know _nothing_. So stop pretending that you do. Stop pretending that you even _know_ what that stupid idiot of Haruka wants, because you know shit. _Believe me_.  You have no idea at all. ”

 

Silence lingered in between them and Rin turned to face the window kitchen trying to keep his emotions at bay, along with the countless images of Haruka that were already piling on his mind.

 

_Haru…._

 

The image of Nanase was so acutely defined that his head started to hurt. Rin put his fingers to the bridge of his nose and press them tighter against it, trying his best to focus. It was unbelievable how little it took for him to return to old patters. But he had to fight them. He had to hold them at bay. He could not indulge himself fall into the trap again.  Rin was very aware that Makoto wasn’t here because Haruka had said something because Nanase never said anything at all. Just so that he wouldn’t compromise himself to nothing.  Rin knew this well. He had tasted it first hand the last time he had seen him in the locker room. Haruka left everyone act around him freely, to fall into his pattern of gravity without saying ever a word. Letting the rest fall from their own accord. And Rin had fallen for better or for worse, leaning his body towards Haru’s in the last second, their mouths almost colliding before the door to the locker rooms was opened ajar.

 

Makoto meanwhile observed him in silence with something akin to pity on his face. 

 

_Oh God, he knows…_

 

Rin noticed his expression with the corner of his eyes clenching his jaw to a perfect square feeling humiliated and exposed. Damned Nanase. Damned his ways and damn Makoto Tachibana for not reading into the fucking lines.  _So fucking what?_ He thought inhaling heavily _._ He knew nothing. They knew nothing.

 

“And?” Rin added nonchalantly trying to save what little dignity he had left and derail Makoto for good. “Should I send him flowers or something? I’m not a fucking faggot. I don’t give a crap if he likes to take it up his ass! ”

 

Immediately Makoto let out a short derisive laugh. Even when his friend wasn’t the kind of guy to get into an argument, always fixing whatever needed to be fixed with patience and time, he did have a way to let anyone know he wasn’t buying bullshit. And _that_ laugh was it. 

 

“Look, I just came here to tell you that Haru is gay,” He said with a candid supportive smile. “Whatever you decide to do with this information, it’s up to you.”

 

His tone was so patronizing that it send Rin finally over the edge. 

 

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Makoto.” He yelled loosing it completely.  “Shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of my fucking house!”

 

Makoto gave a step back as he felt rin coming closer to him. It didn’t matter that he was almost two heads taller than him. He would snap his fucking little neck off for meddling into his business. To hell with Gou and her crush. He was done enabling her, Makoto, Haru and everyone else for that matter. Without a fair warning he started to push Makoto out of the kitchen into the foyer. His friend protested so vehemently that minutes later his sister was on the top of the stairs asking what was going on downstairs. Gou’s appearance made his blood burn more. The last thing he wanted was to have his baby sister asking questions as well, or worse forcing him to face something that he did not wanted to face at all; that it didn’t make sense to face at all. When Makoto was at the entrance of the house he latched himself onto the doorframe. Rin tried to close him out but Tachibana turned out to be stronger than him, opening the door ajar with just one of his hands. Rin got so startled by it that he fell on his butt. At that moment he could hear his sister climbing down the stairs. Makoto then pulled him up by his shirt embracing him all of the sudden. Rin was so taken aback by the gesture that he remained there, motionless.

 

“We love you Rin,” He whispered to him to his ear holding him tight. “I can’t talk on behalf of all of us, but I know that Gou would like you to be happy. I want you to be happy. So do whatever you need to do to get hold of that happiness. I know it’s going to be ok. I just know it… Just stop acting up. Don’t enable Haru. Just don’t.”

 

Rin pushed Makoto so violently away that he slammed fully against the door. Gou ran past him holding the Iwatobi Captain before he collapsed to the floor. Rin turned around and ran upstairs, locking himself inside his room. Once there, he let his head fall on his hands completely out of himself. If his sister hadn’t been there he would have beaten him to a pulp. How dare they say that HE was the one enabling Haru? How fucking dare they? Nobody enabled Nanase. He controlled everything. Ever since they were children. His friends, his swimming…. 

 

His heart….

 

 Rin screamed to the top of his lungs.

 

He walked towards his desk and in one swift movement he flipped it over. He used such force that he felt one of the muscles of his sides pulled instantly. He whimpered, kicking the desk decisively, scattering the little things he had on top on the floor. He noticed his laptop crushed by the weight of the corners of the piece of furniture but he didn’t care anymore. He was done. He was done with everything. He picked up the chair and swang it to the nearest wall. Outside his sister banged on the door, asking him to let her in. Makoto’s words still lingered on his mind. That conversations had been too much. Way too much.

 

_I’m no fucking faggot._

 

Rin laughed bitterly. The tears were running freely down his cheeks by now. It didn’t matter the labels society wanted to hung up on him. The ‘truth was the truth’ and it was that he was in love with Haruka. He could no longer deny that and it was an emotion so powerful that it was crushing him unabashedly to the ground. He fell on his knees, holding his head in between his hands sobbing like a child. How could Makoto think that it would be ok with Haruka? Nothing was ever just ‘ok’ with him. Right when you thought things were fine, that you understood the rules of the game, Haru was emphatic to show you otherwise. Up to this point he wasn’t certain as to why he had acted like that when they had been in the locker room.  Haru had him. In the palm of his hand. Inches away. All Rin needed was the green light to let himself go, to finally unravel whatever they had been building up since childhood. He knew this was more than friendship. Whatever this was…

 

Haru always talked about being ‘free’ but if he was free in any aspect of his life, he surely enjoyed bounding others to his will. Just as Rin was now, tied up to his every whim, as if he had been hanging from a rope all this years to which Haru held the other end, pulling and releasing whenever he felt like it, controlling everything. Controlling him.  He knew he was a mean motherfucker who could very well play mind games like a freaking pro. Always pushing things to the end to snap the situation off the comfort zone just for kicks. But Haru? Oh Haru, was even worse and he was sure that Makoto had no idea how controlling his friend could be.

 

_What is this Haru…?_

 

All he had asked for all this years was to be set free. He wanted to know. He needed to know the name for these feelings and what to do with them. Instead, all he had found was silence. It took seconds for Haruka to step away from him, offering him as he did so, a derisive look as if the little moment they had, had been nothing but a misinterpretation of his actions. Rin had laughed openly disregarding the whole thing as well, but the doubt still lingered on his mind.  What did Haru want from him?

 

_Haru is gay….. I thought you should know._

 

“Then why?” He whispered, in between sobs. “Why did you push me away?” 

 

Rin ran his hands through his hair trying to regain composure. What if Haru had pulled him into a kiss? Would that had been better?

 

 Rin closed his eyes banging his fist on the wall, colliding his whole body against the concrete, sliding his whole being afterwards to the floor.

 

 He didn’t even know what he wanted anymore. 

 

He stood up, swallowing in one gulp his emotions, his love, his hatred, his need, his rejection, pushing all of it down for good. When he had walked out of that swim meet he had promised he would never interact with Haru again. At least not in closed quarters so that he would never be open to go through _that_ again.

 

 He had to find a way out of Nanase’s orbit. Even if now his presence meant the whole universe to him.


	4. Gou

Gou pressed her ear to the door.

 

For minutes she could only hear uninterrupted silence as if the wreckage that had been going on inside had been suck out suddenly by a worm whole.  Gou pressed her face harder against the wood. She could hear her brother in the other side of the door, sobbing, repeating the name of Haruka, over and over again. Gou sighed scooting away from the entrance to her brother’s room, leaning on her back against the wall next to the door.  

 

_So this was it…_

 

She had known for quite a while that there was something going on with his brother. Something besides the anti social shields that he had brought from Australia. She had thought all things would even out with the relay, but it seemed that no matter how closer Rin got to their childhood friends the more distant he would become. Gou noticed this from the very start as if she had been looking at a flower that was blooming as it should, seeing it suddenly close up on itself at the promise of spring.  Rin had always been a passionate person; perhaps overly intense for the simple minded ways of the world. ‘ _Your brother feels too much and too fast_ ’, her Mom would admonish her, seconds later praising Rin’s strong feelings as the ones behind his passionate drive. ‘You should be careful not to burn too fast, too soon. It’s dangerous’, she would add ‘ you might not know where you're standing when that happens’. 

 

With the corner of her eye Gou looked at the door, really pondering for the very first time her mother’s advice.

 

Rin had met Haruka when they were kids, and the two of them went into a very intense relationship made out first of rivalry, secondly of camaraderie and finally of shared winnings. Maybe the first one of its kind on both sides. A mark that would be hard to forget as at least on Rin’s side, became the sole measure  for future achievements. Haruka was the one who made him rise, and was in an a very ironic turn of events, the culprit of his downfall. It was very clear for Gou now: Haruka was the recipient of all his dreams and of all his failures intertwined with a strong desire of possession. She didn’t want to go ahead of herself but Rin wanted to have Haruka. All of him. To subdue him to a single equation that he could process easily and overpower it. 

 

That equation was perhaps love.

 

Rin was the type of guy that would go out with countless of girls, but whenever their Mom asked what was the deal with each and every one of the ladies, her brother would always state that they were “just friends”. He would later confess to Gou that he would only fall for someone he admired and there was no question about Rin’s admiration for Haruka.  Ever since they were children, he was the only topic he would talk about, going on and on about it: ’ _Haru is so talented_ ,’’ _Haru’s swimming is so beautiful_ ,’ ’ _I am so mad Mom, I found out that Haruka doesn’t want to swim in the olympics. He’s such an idiot_ ,’ ’ _I wish Haru would come with me to Australia. It would be awesome_ ’.  

 

Eventually Haruka would become a shadow which Gou and her Mom would have to deal with. This obsession had undone her brother completely. It had changed him from a cheerful boy to a gloomy teenager. Gou always thought Haruka was the culprit of his brother`s undoing - especially in Australia- and thus labeled his proximity as toxic. To her, Haruka had been the unraveling force that had squeezed his brother’s heart to its last drop and who had pushed him to the unknown extremes and this belief partially motivated her to seek an answer in the the Iwatobi Swim Club. Of course, she had been wrong.  Her brother had been left undone because Haruka hadn’t been there and this was an absolute truth.  If Rin had _ever_ been whole, it had been _because of Haruka_ ; his self loathing and confusion suddenly going into a complete halt when they were reunited Again.  Gou sighed finally getting the answer she so long sought for. This had been never been about rivalry. Not even about swimming. This had been about of two people getting together. On the right circumstances. At the right place. 

 

 Finding the missing piece of the puzzle and being forever complete.

 

_What happened Makoto? Why is my brother so angry at you?_

 

She had been surprised to see Makoto at her doorstep. After all they would discuss whatever needed to be discussed about the club through chat or texting, leaving the important details to short meeting after practice. It surprised her more to see Rin going at him so violently; even more to see on her brother’s face an expression of sadness and confusion instead of the usual anger and annoyance that he had had of the late, when Makoto had trapped him on one of his big bear hugs.

 

_Haru is gay, Kou._

 

Makoto hadn’t even looked at her, when he had delivered the news. His eyes were fixed on Rin and on his reaction, as he ran past her and up the stairs to lock himself in his room. Minutes later Makoto was gone without further explanation, although of course she really didn’t need him to elaborate on the subject as it was self explanatory. The only question lingering on her mind was if Haruka even suspected what was going on in her house right now.

 

Gou lifted her hand to knock upon Rin’s door, feeling the urge to tell her brother that despite how bad things looked now, everything was going to be fine. She wanted to show him some support and in general do some damage control. But she couldn’t do it. Rin opened the door so suddenly that she fell flat on her face. When she recollected herself, she saw his brother speeding down the stairs wearing the Samezuka uniform and a gym bag on his shoulder.

 

“Rin! Wait, Where are you going?” She yelled, jumping a whole flight of stairs to reach him.

 

Her brother turned around, and looked at her over his shoulder, coldly. Gou took a step back noticing the tear tracks on his cheeks. Her brother really had been destroyed by the news. If she had had any doubt that he might harbor feelings over Haru, this certainly cleared things up for her. She flinched, feeling a pang of desperation at the sight, wanting desperately to have magic powers to have Haruka-Senpai immediately at his house so that the two of them could talk and sort things out for good.  Rin squinted his eyes with disdain at her reaction. Gou was very aware that Rin knew, _she knew_. Whatever the hell that was, as with her brother one could never know for sure.

 

All she was sure about was that Haruka and Rin needed to sit down to talk.

 

“I’ll be staying at the dorms. Don’t bother me unless you need to.” He informed, snapping her out of her thoughts while clutching the gym bag, avoiding eye contact completely.

 

Gou nodded almost in automatic.

 

“Tell Mom I will sign up to the summer’s course.” He added. “And tell your boyfriend to stay away from me.”

 

“My bo-y-friend?” Gou stammered the question, frowning, without making any sense of her brother’s remark.  “Makoto is not my boyfriend, Rin!”

 

She corrected him immediately, feeling her cheeks turn to a deep shade of red at the thought of it.

 


	5. Haruka

_Water…_

 

Haruka dived into the pool. His full body impacting against the water in seconds.

 

_It has a life of its own and when you dive into it…_

 

It didn’t matter how much he was used to do it. Getting into the pool at the beginning of each competition would always be nerve wrecking. It didn’t matter how much experienced you were. The impact alone would always create disorientation, at least for brief seconds, in which the mind and the body wouldn’t know up from down or right from left.

 

_It immediately attacks you, bearing its fangs at you…_

 

Races were won in the matter of seconds and if you wanted to win, you had to be fast to overcome the initial disorientation of a space that humans by definition, were not part of.

 

_There is no need to be afraid. Embrace it instead. Accept it and dip your fingers deep, making way to create a space for yourself…_

 

Throughout the years he had learned to thrive on this seconds of sheer spatial confusion. Emerging stronger after the first plunge. Haruka gave the first stroke as his body resurfaced, diving his arm forcefully again, parting the waters and advancing quickly through his designated lane. He rarely did it during a race but with the corner of his eye, he checked on Rin whose head wobbled in and out of the water on the far right lane closing the distance fast on him. Coming right from the stands he could hear the Iwatobi group cheering him to go on.  Haruka put more emphasis on his catch, pushing himself through the water while closing his eyes every now and then alongside each stroke in order to feel the motion of the little waves that were impacting against the hardness of his body. 

 

_One should feel the water not only with the skin, but with the soul as well…._

 

_One must become one with water…._

 

Quickly he tumbled as soon as he got to the opposite wall, darting into the lane again for the last lap. When he inhaled he could notice Rin was the only one putting up a fight, as usual. He sped up, giving his all in the last stretch finally touching the pool wall. When he lifted up his head to check the score board for his position and time, he could see Rin’s lane lit up as well. Both, his name and Rin’s were marked as first place. Haruka’s eyes widened and the audience yelled in disbelief at what it seemed to be a tie.  He turned around perfectly synchronized with Rin who looked back at him frowning. Having a tie on a swimming race was not unheard of but it wasn’t a common ground either. That Haruka had been in one and with Rin no less, was just plain weird. Before anyone could said a thing the speaker came on announcing that the judges would review the footage closer, alongside with the scored time, and would declare a winner in a few minutes.

 

Rin clicked his tongue and pushed himself up to get off the water. He was almost with a knee on the edge when he slipped hard almost hitting his left side. Haruka noticed how his expression morphed into pain, launching his body forward to lie on his opposite side and scooting his whole body off the edge, with the aid of his legs.

 

“Is he hurt?” Haru whispered to himself, watching him, carefully disguising his curiosity and concern as a last minute dip.

 

Rin stood up, limping a bit. He was met by Nitori who as usual jumped up and down reassuring him that the whole tie was nothing but a misunderstanding and that he, would be the absolute winner of the race. As soon as they were off the pool court Haruka pulled out of the water heading to the showers trying to engage himself on something that didn’t involve Rin. The shower didn’t help much as soon as he stepped into the locker room there were people whispering about the race tie. Not that Haruka could blame anyone for focusing on it. Rin Matsuoka had gain notoriety for the past competitions to whom his most staunch rival was no other but Haruka himself. A swimming race would always be defined by the scored time, and even when the footage and the clock had to be reviewed by the judges, Haruka could not shake the idea that the race would not be on hold if Rin had been injure free.

 

Haruka frowned exhaling deeply, with Rin’s image limping away still fresh on his mind. He hadn’t seen him in over a month. The last time being, right after the Interhigh regionals when they had had a last minute meet in the locker room.  They had had the place all for themselves, a thing that Rin had found weird because usually those places were crowded with swimmers trying to get a quick shower before they headed home. Haru had stared at Matsuoka while he had been showering. The water had fallen on him forming beautiful patterns on his well built body, curling and swirling as it went down his sides, his buttocks and finally gliding downwards his long well shaped legs. 

 

It had been _right at that moment_ when Haruka saw Rin not as a childhood friend but as a full grown man. The reminiscence of the child he once knew, washing away alongside the chlorine that went effortlessly right down the drain.  It had hit him in full why he was _really_ swimming. Yes he had done it firstly because he had wanted to swim with Makoto, Nagisa and Rei and because in the end Rin had showed him how incredibly fun was to be a part of something, instead of just being ‘free’ and thus alone. But also he had done it solely for Rin’s sake. He was it: the force that pushed him further or set him into a complete halt, transforming swimming altogether into an unbreakable bridge and an everlasting bond; something that became essential for him as soon as puberty started to kick in and he began to discern who he _really_ was and what he really wanted.

 

Swimming became a silver-lining: He could be with Rin _through_ it and that was all that mattered.

 

_What is this Haru…?_

 

_Haru, I know something is wrong. What is it?_

 

Inches apart from Rin his brain had frozen and seconds later the door was kicked ajar. It had been too late to say anything at all, so he had turned around as if nothing had happened. Rin had asked him almost begging to let him know whatever was going on between them, but what the hell did he know about it? He just had dived into him, accepting  full the impact of the acknowledgment that he was in fact, in love with him. He still didn’t know what left from right was or where was up from down in this crazy situation. Rin was Rin and as far as he was concerned, regardless of the incredible force that with no doubt bound them together, the least Haruka wanted to do was to scare him away and loose him for good because at that very moment, as he watched Rin shower, all the doubt he once had about his sexual preferences had vanished, but as to Rin’s? That was entirely a different story.  If Haruka wasn’t careful he could drown without a single chance left for survival. 

 

After his epiphany, he had tried to push Rin out of his mind, resorting to old patterns where he was nothing more than a childhood rival, a former team mate and the brother of the club’s manager. But that didn’t work, because at the same time Rin had disappeared from his life and Haruka had tortured himself wondering if it had been because he had saw the truth past the cold shoulder. Offended perhaps at his rather obvious attraction towards him. After all Rin had laughed.

 

In any case, he’d been trying in the past month to figure out a way to bring out the subject, perhaps to apologize and sort things out with him but, to no avail and now they had tied up in a race. Haruka let out a short sharp derisive snort. It annoyed him how destiny insisted on face them again and again but it never found appropriate to offer them a solution for disentanglement.  That’s what had been wrong all along and the fact that Makoto and the rest would be asking him about it over and over again didn’t help him at all. He once laughed at Makoto’s slight crush on Gou, teasing him to no end about it.

 

Certainly life worked out funny in the end.

 

The speaker came on, announcing that the race had been decided. Haruka lifted up his head paying attention to the voice that frantically began to announce the results and the upcoming swimmers for the next events. Haruka stepped in front of the vending machines outside the showers, waiting for the announcer to reach a verdict, putting the coins in the slot one after the other and squatting, waiting for the can to slid down the front slot. Behind him he could hear a familiar voice coming out of the hall.

 

“I already told you to mind your own business Gou. Stop meddling, please.”

 

It was Rin who was walking backwards from the hall and pointing menacingly at Gou, who was looking at him defiantly. 

 

“But Rin… I’m your sister and I’m worried.” She retorted running past her brother. 

 

She stood up in front of him stretching out his hands to stop him from walking away from her. “Mom is worried as well.”

 

Rin flinched the minute she placed her hands on his chest. It was then when Haruka noticed several bruises on his body as if he had been beaten all over.

 

_Rin…_

 

The can fell through the slot, making a clanking noise that reverberated against the walls. Rin and Gou turned around and looked at him. Rin instantly crooked an eyebrow annoyed that Haruka was being a witness to their sibling squabblings, once more. 

 

“Haruka- Senpai” Gou exclaimed, with a tone that sounded as plain hope. 

 

She instantly looked back at Rin and then at him, going back and forth several times as if she had been expecting something to happen between them. 

 

Haruka stood up, not even minding the soda can and without uttering a word, stared at Rin who looked back at him dead silent. For several minutes they remained like that, with Gou in the middle, as usual. Haruka swallowed hard, forcing his brain to phrase something useful that would ditch him out, but when he had something on the tip of his tongue, Rin had turned around and walked away. 

 

Gou exhaled heavily, leaning her head backwards, taking her small hands to her head. “I’m going to kill him!”

 

Haruka frowned a little startled at Gou’s reaction. Her face was a deep shade of red; almost a perfect match to her  hair color and she looked at him defiantly. He gave a step backwards a bit concerned.  He knew that look. It was the Matsuoka determined look that could split iron walls if needed. Haruka knew the group must have picked on something because right after Makoto had asked him what had been going on with him and Rin, the rest of the group tip-toed around the subject. And today, before they had entered the stadium he’d noticed how they exchanged looks with one another, their conspiracy glances going high wire when the Samezuka Club had walked past by them.  

 

“Haruka Senpai,” Gou said softly, going at him and taking his hands in between hers. “Please talk to my brother…”

 

Haruka gasped. “Kou…I…”

 

“I’m sure if you’d talk to him, you’d be of great help. He’s always been such an idiot when he has to deal with feelings…”

 

Haruka tilted his head, squinting his eyes. Had he heard her right? 

 

 His heart started to race.

 

Gou simply smiled at him reassuringly, squeezing both his hands a bit. Haruka started to look for Rin at the distance, but he was nowhere to be seen. He nodded at Gou as an unspoken ‘thank you’ and sprinted down the halls, looking in between the crowd for Rin’s whereabouts. He had to find him before the medal ceremony started, suddenly realizing that he had missed the verdict about the tie. He knew that once the medals were given his chances of seeing him again off swimming season would be downsized to none. Finally after fiveteen minutes of running frantically up and down the complex, he found Nitori outside one of the private shower rooms, leaning against the door as if he was watching out for something.

 

“Rin…” Haru whispered, running expectant towards the room.

 

Nitori jumped when he saw him coming, looking sideways to the door. Surely Rin had asked him to watch out for intruders.  Haruka however didn’t stop to ask for permission. He walked past him, pushing the door open and closed it on his way in. As expected Nitori pushed the door open again but he couldn’t go through as Haruka pressed his whole body against it.  

 

“Nitori, I need to talk to Rin. Please, let me.” He said, peeking out.

 

He could notice an undertone of desperation in his voice. As if he had been pleading for Nitori’s permission to talk to Rin instead. Whatever the tone, it did the trick on him as he nodded quietly and close the door himself, letting Haruka alone with Rin for the very first time in a month. 

 

As soon as he realized this, he sighed, starting to feel a bit nervous. He could hear the shower running, his mind going back instantly to that ‘first plunge’ or realization of his true feelings for Rin. Haruka walked slowly, surrounding a group of lockers. The showers stood at the far end corner of the room, divided by a plexiglass that prevented the water from splashing all over. He could see Rin’s reflection on it. All his body supported on both his arms that were stretched, hands opened firmly placed upon the wall. His head was looking downwards while the water covered him completely.  He knew he should have said something, but he just stood there, admiring him, a bit afraid that he could no longer do this from up close anymore. Whatever Gou had meant for “feelings”, Haruka didn’t want to jump ahead of himself. As Gou said, they needed to talk to clear things out for good.

 

Rin straightened up as soon as he heard him opening the door to the showers, his face showing true recognition when Haru appeared in front of him.

 

“Ah… it’s you,” He said with a hint of sadness in his voice, while he turned the shower off. “Hints do not work with you, now Do they?”

 

“We need to talk.” Haruka answered plainly, trying his best to remain calm. 

 

He knew he had to be careful to keep Rin under control. He was well aware that a misplaced word could send him over the edge and he didn’t want to go through the same fight they had over before the had swam the relay. Rin laughed, shaking his head, running his fingers through his hair evidently as tired as him of the inevitable dynamics destiny insisted on putting them through.

 

“Yeah, whatever,” Rin answered, walking past him, disregarding his petition. 

 

“Rin please,” He pleaded, stopping him before he reached the door, holding him by the forearm. “I’m serious.”

 

Haruka could see Rin’s sardonic expression morphing into one of pure pain and he stared at him for a few minutes, his breathing becoming heavier and his gaze more inquisitive with each second . It was as if Rin was trying to scan him from the inside out with just one look.

 

“Jesus Haru, what _the fuck_ do you want from me?” He blurted out almost stammering, forcing each and every word out of his mouth in desperation, while yanking his arm off Haruka’s grasp.

 

Haruka hesitated for a moment. His brain going to a complete halt again. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing and loose him over for it.  Rin in the meantime completely snapped, pulling him by his jacket. In just a matter of seconds Haruka could feel his breath all over his face. 

 

_What is this Haru…?_

 

Haruka closed his eyes feeling instantly intoxicated. 

 

“Don’t you dare look away from me…” Rin warned, with his teeth clenched, this time anger showing all over his face.  “Answer me, god fucking damn it!”

 

Haruka blinked quickly recollecting himself.

 

“I want you Rin.” He said finally, gazing directly into his eyes.

 

Rin immediately took a step back, letting him go, his chest going suddenly into a complete halt, visibly shocked for the confession and the unabashed simplicity of his words.

 

“I’m serious,” Haruka repeated.

 

_He’s always been such an idiot when he has to deal with feelings…_

 

He wasn’t even sure what those ‘feelings’ truly comprised but whatever the repercussions, Haruka knew that they could no longer be avoided. Whatever fate had set for them, they would have to lay things out in the open for good. But Rin remained silent, holding himself up by the plexiglass window. Then he pressed his fingers to his eyes, snorting loudly with his nose.

 

He was about to cry. 

 

“You are such a cry baby Rin,” Haruka stated dryly, raising his eyebrows.

 

 “Oh, shut the fuck up Haruka.” Rin retorted, yanking him against his body.

 

The gesture was so sudden that Haruka’s body went headlong. Their chests colliding in full against the plexiglass. Inches away Rin stopped the motion and gazed at him. This time however, it was not with anger, but with something akin to devotion and expectation; Rin’s eyes diverting every second or so from his eyes to his mouth, finally going for a kiss. Haruka got so disoriented when their mouths touched: Rin’s lips were fierce, his tongue parting him open in an instant, biting and demanding attention, devouring him whole in a second. He could feel his hands holding him desperately, his fingers digging into his skin as if he was making sure he would not leave. 

 

“Haru…” Rin whispered breaking the kiss for a moment. “I don’t even know what…”

 

Haruka pressed his whole body against the plexiglass. He didn’t even want to hear Rin faltering. He had kissed him, hadn’t he? 

 

“Do you want me?” He asked, his lips going down Rin’s throat making him moan loudly.

 

“Yes…” Rin answered, nodding quickly as if Haruka would stop if he didn’t do it vehemently enough.  “So much.”

 

Haruka smiled, taking him by the nape of his neck, going again for a kiss. Rin relaxed under his embrace, holding him in return and tugging at his jacket and shirt, undressing him from the top in one go. Before Rin could go at him, Haruka pinned him once more against the glass. He knew once Rin took control of the situation he would be done for. He had to seize the first plunge as his. Haruka left a trail of kisses from the collarbone down Rin’s chest, stopping on each of his nipples, circling his mouth, flickering his tongue every once in a while on the tips only to make Rin moan. And god he moaned in such a delicious manner Haruka was very ready to let him do whatever he pleased with him in return.

 

Nevertheless he bid his time, following his quest downwards sliding his tongue down his abs and biting his navel. Haruka placed both his hands on each side of Rin’s hips, caressing the edge of the swim suit, tracing the V-shape red pattern on his crotch with his fingertips. He thought Rin would panic once his face was on it but he felt Rin’s hand gently upon his head, encouraging him to go on. Haruka caressed his bulge with his open mouth tugging at the garment, pulling it ever so lightly downwards. He could see Rin’s tan marks and he used his fingers once more to trace them, making Rin tilt his head backwards with the gesture, which bumped against the window. 

 

Despite the bump Rin remained silent, lips only parted in pleasure while he guided him with his hands that encircled Haruka’s wrists, while thrusting his half exposed crotch towards his face, demanding his speedy attention. Haruka half smiled moved by Rin’s exasperation. He placed his lips over his tan lines, this time gliding his tongue flat on his surface as if Rin’s hip had been his favorite flavor of ice cream. Rin’s breathing became a gasp when he felt Haruka’s hands holding his shaft and then seconds later his mouth. Rin instantly stretched his arms and legs open like a starfish taking all what Haruka could offer without hesitation.

 

Haruka licked up and down his length, caressing his shaven balls while doing so, thrusting the first fingers into him. Rin tensed as expected letting out a complaint, but as Haruka increased up the tempo, Rin relaxed parting his legs a bit more to feel him better.

 

“Jesus Haru…” Rin half moaned. Haruka could feel his member thickening with every passing second.

 

It was actually very surprising that despite all the attention Rin was demanding, he wasn’t asking to be the one in control and this perhaps, turned on Haruka even more. It took brief seconds for them to be flat on the floor. The leg skins thrown aside alongside Haruka’s remaining clothing. He could see Rin balling his hands into fists. He was holding up, perhaps for Haruka’s sake. For the intense new sensations that he was offering him, perhaps for the very first time. Haruka pushed him from the small of his back to the ground, his buttocks to his face. Rin obviously resisted a bit, it was not in his nature to be submissive and Haruka knew that, acknowledging so suddenly that whatever was happening now, was really born out of a deep need. 

 

Rin _really_ wanted him, surrendering his pride and all that he was and had been, only to him.

 

Haruka spread him, licking him thoroughly and caressing his legs up and down as he did so. He was very careful as he entered him trying to cause him as little pain as he could. He knew the first time could be painful, most of it all uncomfortable and so once he was in, he increased the tempo slowly letting Rin’s body accustom around him. Letting his pleasure build up with each thrust. Haruka would never thought it possible, but Rin liked to talk even in the middle of sex. He had been quiet for the most part, at least at the beginning, but now it seemed that he was enjoying himself a lot, as he cursed with every thrust, repeating his name over and over again, turning around to see him with his eyes half opened, his tongue partially sticking out and licking his upper lip.

 

The sight was astounding. Haruka increased the tempo a bit, grabbing him by the ass, digging his fingers into his skin. Rin swore to the top of his lungs, lifting his hips upwards and reaching out for his member, stroking it frantically cursing under his breath. It didn’t take long for Rin to demand control at last and Haruka let him, laying flat on his back against the tile floor.

 

Rin launched himself forward lifting Haruka’s arms up,  holding him in one spot by the wrists. He started to kiss him immediately first on his throat, then on his neck and on his shoulder. Haruka could feel his sharp teeth going at his collarbone savagely, as if he wanted to rip his skin off. He knew he would be marked all over the next day, but he didn’t care anymore. He let Rin be, arching his body willingly to receive openly whatever came his way. 

 

Rin continued down his chest, following the same road Haruka had at first. However as he had already been naked, Rin attacked him fully. Haruka felt his legs go upwards by the calves. Before he could protest, he felt Rin’s mouth on his cock. He knew at some point Rin would take care of that but when it actually happened it caught him so unaware that he moaned loudly.

 

“Fuck…! Yes.” He said blushing. 

 

Rin let out a short laugh, amused by his reaction and the choosing of words. After all Haruka rarely if never swore. 

 

When Haruka recollected himself, he looked at him, and he found Rin smiling widely, licking the length of his shaft from the base to the top, evidently offering him a show. Before the waves of pleasure kicked in, he watched Rin swallow him whole. He did hesitate for a second, biting his lip, unsure of what to do, then going completely for it seconds later, while thrusting the first two fingers in. Rin must have been accustomed to sex with women because he used his fingers expertly, moving them both in circles increasing the pleasure tenfold, while sucking on his balls. Haruka felt his member pulsing, the sensations welling up in the base of his navel. He was about to come.

 

Instantly he put both his hands on top of Rin’s shoulders to make him stop. 

 

“Too soon?” Rin teased brazenly and Haruka nodded feeling his body ready to explode.

 

Rin pulled Haruka against him entering him in one quick motion. “You are so very tight…”

 

Haruka nodded moving his arms to his side as if looking for something to grab on for the ride. Rin held him through his hips throughout the first minutes, then using one of his hands, he began to stroke him.

 

“Come on Haruka. Come for me.” He whispered, gazing at him.

 

It didn’t took long for Haruka to comply to his demands, spilling on himself and on Rin’s hand in one last powerful thrust. The confusion, the period of disorientation was over….

 

_There is no need to be afraid…. Embrace it…. Become one…_

 

 Rin collapsed on top of him, looking for his lips, holding him with both hands and whispering to his ear how much he needed him. How much he loved him and how he never wanted to let him go.


	6. Nagisa

Nagisa closed the shower room door behind him.  In front of him, Nitori was waiting, expectant.

 

“Is everything ok?” He asked playing nervously with his hands. “I kept hearing crashing and swearing noises inside.”

 

Nagisa pressed his lips together into a firm line trying to disguise his laughter. Apparently Nitori didn’t have a clue as to what really was going on between his Senpai and Haru; which was not entirely bad as he now wanted to rip out his eyes having walked in on them seconds ago. Even when Nitori had warned him that Rin was ‘talking’ to Haruka and they had demanded privacy, Nagisa had gone in, urged by Makoto and Gou who had asked him to find his teammate no matter what, as the award ceremony was about to begin.

 

When he had walked in, Haru had been in between Rin- Rin’s arms, kissing. 

 

He knew, it was impolite to stare, but he couldn’t help it. Their friends were passionately going at it, their tongues intertwining almost in slow motion. Even when Rin was the one holding Haru, wrapping him close with both his arms, Haru was holding onto him as well, with his hands firmly set, almost desperately clung to his forearms. The whole sight had been nothing but mesmerizing and  Nagisa had felt a warmth spread through his chest almost immediately, smiling widely as he beheld their friend’s consummation of happiness first hand. 

 

“Is it going to take longer for them to be outside?” Nitori asked snapping him out of his thoughts. “I heard the announcer said that the ceremony will take place in just a few minutes and I don’t know if they know that it’s now officially a tie.”

 

Nagisa glanced sideways to the door, his mind already thinking on a possible solution to their problem. After all Rin and Haruka had to attend the award ceremony. He quickly opened the door and slammed it behind him. He could hear their friends shuffling and moving past the cluster of lockers, evidently startled by his arrival.

 

“The ceremony is about to begin!“ He announced loudly. “Nitori and I will be waiting for you guys on the stand. Hurry up, or Gou with kill you both.”

 

He didn’t even wait for them to answer. He could hear Rin swearing though, cursing because Haru wasn’t fast enough to find his swimsuit. Nagisa smiled, letting out a short laugh. Those two really amused them. It was so comical how people in general complicated themselves with such a simple matter and straight forward issue as love. Especially Haru and Rin-Rin, who from the beginning felt an acute attraction for each other.

 

Nagisa stretched out his arms, hugging Nitori close encouraging him with the gesture to walk alongside him. Nitori followed him suit and the two of them talked about the various events that had taken place throughout the day and how exciting Rin’s and Haruka’s competition would be in the upcoming meets, on account of their sudden tie. Today they would rise in the podium as equals, with an impressive time record set for future swimmers to brake. _It was a good day_ , Nagisa thought. Definitely a good day.

 

As Nitori and him reached their respective places on the stands, he saw Haru and Rin coming out of the adjacent door to the pool court. The speaker announced them with excitement in their voice to a cheering crowd. He could feel Gou’s hands wrapping around his arm. When he looked at her he found tears in her eyes. He thought it was on account of her brother winning, but when he look at the court he understood.

 

Rin and Haru were stepping on the first place podium, the medals already around their necks. He noticed how Rin’s fingers looked for Haru’s discretely, finally holding firmly onto his hand. Their arms went upwards in victory and the crowd cheered up for them, celebrating their achievement loudly.  For any person, the gesture could be passed on as camaraderie. As two athletes sharing the bond of victory, but Nagisa knew better. He screamed, jumping off and down, almost knocking Rei’s glasses off of his nose.

 

“What the hell Nagisa!” Rei protested holding his glasses from its bridge. 

 

Nagisa didn’t mind him, launching himself towards Rei, almost hugging him with his whole body. 

 

“They are together see?” He said, pointing at them. Makoto and Rei following the direction to where his arm was pointing at. “They are holding hands and all. Rin-Rin and Haru-chan are finally together!”

 

There was a moment in which Nagisa could see full recognition in their friends faces, their features going from a blank expression to pure awe and excitement as Haru hugged Rin, burying his face into his neck. Then the three of them looked at him at the same time, totally bewildered, as if he wasn’t supposed to know. And _of course_ he had known all along. It was as plain as day. Just as he knew that Rei had a crush on a girl from Samezuka, and that right at this moment Makoto was dying to scoop Gou into his arms and kiss her at last.

 

“Come on guys! It’s sooooo obvious.” He retorted cheerfully, not even looking at them, his eyes glued to the court where Rin and Haru were staring, smiling at each other. 

 

“Was it?” Makoto asked, looking at him frowning showing a bit of panic on his features, perhaps acknowledging finally that Nagisa was not as absent minded as all wanted to believe. 

 

_He knew stuff_. 

 

He could see his friend glancing towards where Gou was, nervously and he smiled in complicity when he saw their eyes meet. 

 

 

THE END. 


End file.
